Thank You

Atop North Mountain

r003-020There is a certain beauty in having brushed up against deep sorrow and survived it.  There is certainly honor in it having taken up residence in your belly and chest, taunting you with the hope of death, and rejecting it despite its temptations of relief.  That’s where I sit most days.  Profoundly proud and thankful.

Sometimes I think back to June; to that horrifying six weeks when I begged for death to relieve my illogical sorrow.   I remember hands.  Some nervous and pleading.  Some demanding and angry.  A few that were warm and kind.  And then one day I had to stand up again.  Without the hands.

No one tells you that the hardest part of depression is getting better mostly but not all the way.  When the hands leave.

There are things I wouldn’t know about now had I not fallen into the pit and climbed back out…

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  1. Human born to live natural life positively on this planet not for rase running behind each others competition. We made our life complicated and others made others. What is the benefit behind this human life best secret we all need love.